Sakura Event

Sakura Event

Sakura Costumes

Sakura Onsen Costume

Onsen Hand Basin - 2460x2
Onsen Yukata - 17976
Onsen Pink Zori - 1104
Onsen Towel - 6828

Sakura Kimono Costume

​Sakura Hairpin - 6226
Sakura Branch - 5824
Sakura Kimono - 17976
Sakura Zori - 11045
Sakura Ponytails -
Pink - 348💎
Brown - 6928
Blonde - 348💎

Happy Hour Male Costume

​Happy Hour Dark Trousers - 4518
Happy Hour Green Bottle - 5222
Happy Hour White Shirt - 7832
Happy Hour Blue Tie - 8434
Happy Hour brown hair - 6728
Hh yellow hair - 168x2💎
Happy hour hair (black) - 6728
Happy Hour Cute Costume

Happy Hour Sakura Tie - 4217x2
❤️Happy Hour Sakura Petal -
❤️Happy Hour Brown Bottle -
Happy Hour Glasses - 8536


Sakura Indoor Set

Sakura Armchair - 4830
Sakura Bed - 7560
Sakura Chair - 1848
Sakura Clock - 892x2
Sakura Cupboard - 6930
❤️Sakura Door -
Sakura Dresser - 7244
Sakura Ceiling Lights - 36💎
Sakura Table Light - 1364
Sakura Small Vase - 1680
Sakura Standing Pot - 5354
Sakura Table - 3990
Sakura Tile - 2624
Sakura Wallpaper - 4830
Sakura Wall Shelf - 2730
Sakura Wardrobe -
Sakura Window - 6300
​Sakura Outdoor Set

Sakura Futon - 10080
Sakura Bus Stop - 76 💎
Sakura Zabuton - 2464
Sakura Gate - 204 💎
Sakura Fence - 2100
❤️Sakura Ground -
Sakura Fountain - 8680
Sakura Hachiko - 3500
Sakura Kettle - 5376
Sakura Lanterns - 46💎
❤️SakuraBucks -
❤️Sakura Tea Table -
Sakura Blooms - 5320
Sakura Tree - 5320
Sakura Scenery - 6440





Sent from my iPhone

Wedding Woes

I'm a member of a couple of online wedding communities and today someone asked if she should just elope because so many people said they wished they had. It gave me a good opportunity to reflect on my anxiety about my wedding and why I'm doing it. I thought I'd share it with you as a way to let you know where things are in my wedding planning, and where my head is at.

I've got two and a half months to go, am SUPER behind on stuff, DIDN'T know what I wanted going into this, have a groom with real live opinions on stuff so I don't have the luxury of just saying, "That. Yes that. Fine. I'll do that," but instead we have to talk about everything which is something the whole wedding industry assured me wouldn't be the case (I'm glad he cares but sometimes I just want him to rubber stamp my decisions), he's in Canada while I'm in Florida, and the budget has ballooned from $4k (we had no idea!) to $10k (after looking at prices for things) to around $15k (after some gifts from our family, but oh my god why are we spending so much I am terrified).

I'm not feeling like a very good bride. I have no clear vision and have been dealing with a family illness, school, and work. Wedding shit takes a back seat. I keep telling myself that after finals (next week!) I'll finally make up for what I haven't accomplished. I feel like some things are just going to be lacking or wonky, though, and there's nothing one can do. We're 2.5 months out. A lot of things that are done are done and a lot of things that aren't, won't be. 

I'm still looking forward to the wedding and wouldn't dream of eloping, though. I think my foundation for this is that we both have pretty happy, harmonious families. It might not be worth it if they were all at each others' throats, if we had to juggle different dramatic (adult) babies who don't know how to play nice for the greater good, etc. Also, we have a small wedding party with incredibly low-key and dependable people, so you don't get any of those nightmare "Say Yes to the Dress: Bridesmaids" crap going on. The ceremony and reception might not end up looking how we want it, but I think when it's over it'll feel like we want, and we can't get that feeling without having all these people whom we love with us. 

Making a list and checking it twice obsessively.

So there you have it. I'm overwhelmed. School has sort of taken over my life right now and with next week being finals, it will only get worse before it gets better. I'm sick to my stomach at the thought of  all the work I have to do. It's stressful. It's not some magical time where people feed you mini wedding cakes and you get to bark out orders. It's a time of serious money stress (no matter what your budget is), guilt and anxiety about your hospitality choices, and guilt for spending so much time and effort on something that really is only one day of your life.

As a bride, I'm pulled in a lot of different directions, from vendors shouting that it's my special day and everything should be perfect to wedding haters complaining about every choice made in a wedding (and attributing it solely to the bride, of course) to family and friends who have their opinions/wishlist for things at the wedding. Oh, I guess there's what Chris and I want in that mix, too. Almost forgot about that! It's a bit stressful. I'm sure not working and  having a year to plan would have helped, but that's not the way it went.

I'm trying to remain positive, like in my message to the elopement question girl. It's sometimes hard. It feels like I'm being asked a whole lot, and to be responsible for so much. I also feel like a screw-up for letting things get so far away from me. All I can do now is put my nose down and get on with it, though. It will work out or it will be a funny story.

Right?

Hallowen 2011, Part Two

These were my two Halloween costumes. On the left is my Doctor costume, on the right is my cowgirl costume. The common denominator is that I found this excellent cowboy hat for $5 at an estate sale. I wore the Doctor outfit Saturday and Sunday, and wore the cowgirl costume to school Halloween and to answer the door for trick-or-treaters.

Sunday I went to another small Halloween party with my friend who dressed as Sonic, and we went from there to another pub, which is starting to really sound like our M.O. I met more of her friends, who are great, and had a really wonderful time. After the pub, we swung on swings in a park, played on the jungle gym, and were general kids. It was super.

The next day was Halloween itself, for which I totally dressed up, even though I was only going to school and yes I was the only person in costume in every class I had. Whatever. I just love the holiday! I ended up getting my Education midterm test back, and the professor called me out for getting the highest score in the class. I was relieved and embarrassed all at once, but looking back, I have no regrets. I'm glad my classmates know I got the top score. I'm super glad I got a great score on a challenging test, and I'm excited to know that I know the right way to study for tests to do well in a really demanding professor's class.

Halloween Weekend

I had an excellent Halloween weekend, seriously.

On Saturday, I woke up way too early and drove down to Orlando to go to Disney World with my Disney Cruise Line workin' friend Catherine and two of her friends, both of whom I've met before. First of all, how cool is it that one friend I met while I was up in Toronto and another I met while passing through Virginia as part of a huge message board nerd meetup? Very cool is the answer. Anyway, once I finally got through traffic, we met up and headed to the Magic Kingdom. Once there, we were speed demons, riding Space Mountain, the teacups, the Haunted Mansion, the Prince Charming's carousel, It's a Small World, and the Tomorrowland Transit Authority, all in less than two and a half hours! After that, Catherine and her castmate buddy had to get back to the boat, but Sarah and I headed into Disney's Hollywood Studios for lunch, the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror, and the newly renovated Star Tours. Finally it was time to head home.

After the two and a half hour drive home, I fell into bed, napped for a few hours, and then woke up to meet up with Aunt Barbara and Uncle Tom at the Ale House. They were in town for the Florida/Georgia game. We caught up, ate, and then headed back home, where I changed into my costume to go to a Halloween party. I was the Doctor, from Doctor Who. I met up with a new friend from school, and attended a totally not creepy party where I totally wasn't uncomfortable. There were gummy worms! It wasn't horrible. Why would you think that?

Afterwards, we went to the Fly's Tie, an Irish pub near the beach, and met up with some people. The live band was great, a girl dressed as Audrey Hepburn from Breakfast at Tiffany's came up to me and informed me that bow-ties are cool. I knew that, but I was glad she let me know she knew. Sure is lonely being the one lady dressed totally, completely unsexily for Halloween. My friend dressed as Sonic the Hedgehog, but at least she was a cute/mildly scandalous Sonic. I was just the Doctor. AH, WELL. Next year!

There's a bit more to tell and pictures to share, but the NyQuil is kicking in and I am going to sleep. Goodnight all, and I hope you had a killer wonderful Halloween!

Schoolin' 'Em

Sorry for the lack of updates. School and work and wedding stuff have been big, and I haven't felt like I've had a lot to say. That's good, I guess, because the biggest worry I had about how I'd be feeling and doing this time a couple of months ago was school-related, and guess what? I'm killing it. MURDERING. Every grade I've gotten back in every class has been an A. Not always 100%, sure, but I am not complaining. Today I had my Education midterm and turned in a paper in Humanities. I hope and expect to do as well on those as I have my previous assignments/evaluations. I don't know, it's just going great.

90% of the work is showing up, for sure. Being in class, taking notes, staying awake no matter how much I want to nap in my last class, it's the vast majority of what it's taken me so far to succeed. The rest is actually working. Reading the assigned bits, writing the papers (and being willing to submit even the ones that are merely "good enough"), studying, it's the rest. I guess soon I'll also have to include doing my field work for Education, because I'm required to show up and take notes for a total of 18 hours in a classroom. I'm not actually looking forward to that, but I'll get through it.

I know it's lame to show up and be like, "I'm so great!" but shut up. Things are going well. I'm doing a good job. And soon the semester will be over and I'll only have, oh crap, two months before my wedding. I should really post a "what I've done so far for the wedding" recap, or maybe a note about this charity stair climb I want to do. I'll keep you posted, alright? And make a much better effort to update this thing every once in a while. Scout's honor!

Final Weigh-In

Yes, this is late in being posted by a few days, but guess what? I made it! In fact, I forgot I was aiming for 146 and thought I'd been off by .2 of a pound from 145, so I super made it. With tenths of a pound to spare! Go me!

This picture was taken bright an early Tuesday morning, 9/20/11.

Okay, we'll call that sock weight, because unlike in the original weigh in picture back in January, I'm barefoot.

Remember this? Me, too! I totally did it. I lost forty (one point four) pounds in 8 months. I accomplished my goal. I'm not a superhero and I'm not particularly known for my willpower, but I did it. Here's how.

How I Ate:

Throughout my fitness journey, I tracked my calories online. Most people don't do this because it's a pain in the butt. I didn't want to do it because it's a pain in the butt. I would absolutely recommend it to anyone who wants to improve their body composition, though, with the caveat that it is absolutely a pain in the butt. I measure almost every piece of food I put in my mouth. I look up nutritional info for restaurants I visit. I plug family recipes into a website and then figure out how much of the total calories I probably ate, and log that. The bad news is, wow, there's a lot of AWFUL food out there. It also couldn't be easier to eat it and get huge, because it's cheap, tasty, and everywhere. The good news is that if you track your eating for about two months, you'll start to know what you can and can't eat to support your weight loss goals, and you can probably wing it from there. I chose not to because I knew I had a problem with overeating and because I had a measurable goal I wanted to reach, and it paid off. There's something really powerful about knowing precisely what foods support your goal, and there's something eye opening about seeing just how much real food you can eat for the same number of fat and calories as junk food from a drive through.

Chris, some homeless guy, and me, June 2010

I wouldn't tell anyone that there is any food to never or always eat. It's a matter of making it work for you. I know to a lot of people, cheese, sour cream, and refried beans spell diet disaster, but I found that those foods are usually worth the caloric trade-off for me, because I'd be eating them instead of things with more carbs and sugar. If given the choice of two foods with the same number of calories, I'm almost always going to go for the one with more protein, fiber, or fat than one with more carbs. I just find that carbs don't fill me up, and a hungry Whitney is a miserable Whitney. I drink little to no juice, soda, or sweet tea and drink a whole ton of water, some skim milk, and some Coke Zero. On that note I don't drink alcohol very much. It's usually a once or twice a month thing with several drinks, then weeks of nothing. I find I gravitate toward sugary drinks that have tons of calories and once I've had a bit, I start eating everything in sight. It's just not worth it to do this on more than special occasions. What else? Hmm, granola is deceptively bad for you, don't dismiss things everyone tells you are bad for you without doing the research, take fish oil, and try to fill up on fruits and veggies. Don't eat white bread or rice, and try to keep ice cream to a minimum, 'cause the stuff is killer caloric. Drinking hot tea fills me up, and measure out and check the calories on all pasta you eat, even the whole wheat stuff. You'd be shocked about how many calories you're consuming with pasta. On the other hand, red spaghetti sauce, even with meat, is great, and you can drown your half cup of noodles in it an feel pretty okay with your choices.

Me and Chris, September 2011

Those are my eating tips. The little ones all come from my experience with the big one. I can't tell you how much I benefited from incorporating MyFitnessPal, a food scale, and measuring cups/spoons into my fitness plan. Or maybe I can. 40 pounds in eight months. Yep, about that much.

How I Moved:

Well, the first few months, I did EA Sports Active 2 with Chris. It was a combination cardio and strength program that focused on short exercises strung together with very little rest between them, and was challenging for me. To say the least. Sometimes I cried. ANYWAY, it was surprisingly effective. I also walked around the city a fair bit around three times a week. Then I moved back to Jax and got a job in a restaurant. I walk a lot in a shift, and I love that there's movement in my job. I don't, however, think this is sufficient for someone trying to lose weight, so I joined a gym and have visited it intermittently since then. I've focused on cardio because my goal has been quick weight loss, but while that has helped get the pounds off, I pretty much look like a smaller version of the fat me. Skinnyfat is the term. I don't have any muscle definition and I feel weaker than I should. I regret that I haven't been lifting, as I know it's a huge help to boosting one's metabolism, strengthening the bones, and making you look like a hottie, but I've been lazy. It's my goal in the coming months to throw my attention on that aspect of fitness. Muscles, ahoy!

How I Felt:

Overwhelmed. Proud. Pressured. Enlightened. Occasionally, deprived. Like I accomplished something amazing. Emotions have been all over the place, 'cause it's been EIGHT MONTHS of working at this goal. I've had great successes, some failure, and holding patterns, so it's been all over the map. Here at the finish line, though, I can tell you this: I'm not happy because I'm 40 pounds down. I'm happy because I set a goal and worked toward it. I'm happy because I got in shape for myself, not for the rest of the world, but honestly, I've gotten a lot of affirmation from the outside world, so that's great and helpful. I think you can be miserable, lose wight, and remain miserable. It's about figuring out why you want to do something, trying to be positive about where you're at and who you are now, and taking the, "I'm awesome and I'm just going to improve on a good thing," approach to health.

It's certainly not about starving yourself. It's never been about hating myself and feeling like I won't be happy until I improve. It's all about this, "I am great, and I can be greater!" approach. I wish I could communicate that to others, because I want to be a sign of cool people getting cooler, not miserable people becoming happy through weight loss. No way, man.



I hope this has been helpful to people with similar goals. I know tracking my weight and being accountable to this blog has been essential to me meeting my goal, and I know I really really want to share the things I think have been most essential to my success. My advice: Set a clear and measurable goal. Build in some room for error/real life, and then work like the dickens. If you see things aren't working, try new things. Learn a lot. Use your entertainment (like Biggest Loser or blogs you read) to keep your head in the game and give you more knowledge in a fun way. Don't give in to stupid, "diet of the month" plans you find at the top of the New York Times bestseller list or in a magazine. Drink more water, eat more vegetables, and find a physical activity you like, from walking to weight lifting to yoga. Be awesome. You were born for this.

Weigh in Week #34

Are we down to the wire or what? The deadline for my goal is September 20th I've got 1.4 pounds to go to get there. Even if I don't make it, I'm darn close, and I'm darn proud.

I've been sick for a week, so I haven't been able to work out, and it's been my birthday, so we had lots and lots of good food. Luckily I've been good more than I've been bad, and I've had a little less of an appetite than before thanks to the sickness, so it's balanced out for the most part.

I'm actually really missing the gym since I've been so sick lately. If it was just a sore throat and a runny nose, I think I'd be in there, but I've got some gross-sounding death coughs that make me wary about pushing myself more than I have to. But yeah! I'm looking forward to returning to the gym, starting my weight training again, and getting arms like my Education professor. She's ripped, man!

Okay, guys, final weigh-in in five days! It's happening! We're doing this!

A Reflecton on Labor (Day)

I'm spending the holiday sick, and doing a lot of reading for school that, if not for this holiday, I would be attending. Yay, labor!

Speaking of, I feel like I'm reaching a breakthrough at work. I'm really getting so much more comfortable with the serving aspect that I can connect to the guests because my mind isn't on so many other things. Sure, I still make mistakes and I've not learned 100% of the items on the menu (just the 80% that are most commonly ordered), but it's enough to get by. It's fun to talk to customers and try to find common ground, and it's great to know that some people go out to eat for more than just food. They want atmosphere, food, and personable, friendly service.

So yes, the non-monetary aspects of work are going well. I went out with coworkers the other night after work and was really excited to interact off the job. Yay, socializing!

As for money, well, I'm still working around 20 hours a week, but we're just not getting a ton of customers on my shifts. I don't know if the restaurant is taking a hit, if people are just tipping poorly, or if I'm getting some bum shifts, but it's not great. I'm still able to pay my modest bills, but I don't feel like I have a lot left over for wedding things or paying off my student loan early. Ah, well. I have a great job environment with wonderful coworkers and customers, a schedule that accommodates my school hours, and tasty tacos whenever I want them. Okay, that last one is a little dangerous. But overall it's working out great.

Weigh-In Week #32!

Last week I was a bit overconfident. I stopped counting calories. I didn't work out. I'm down a grand total of one pound in three weeks. This is bad. This will improve.

Alright. Anyway. This week I weigh 150.4 pounds, for a total weight loss of 36.2 pounds since I started this thing back in January, which makes my average weight loss 1.13 pounds a week.

I ate some baaaaaaad food. I also ate some healthy reasonable food, but I didn't do the little things to keep my nutrition on track and made too many excuses. Bad eating is okay in moderation with friends and family for a special event, but it's goofy and not special when you're hanging around the house. I am not going to give up, because I know I can do this. In order to meet my goal, I've got to lose 1.5 pounds a week. This is totally happening. Come on, guys. I can do this.

The Road Ahead

In other news, I'm really looking forward to post-goal activity: weight training! I love getting stronger and I know how many health benefits it offers. I know it's a super effective way to keep your weight low thanks to calorie-torching muscle mass boosting one's metabolism, and I know I'm going to look a lot better with muscles under my skin. I do have a bit of post-weight loss loose skin on my arms and stomach, and it would look way cooler to have abs, triceps, and triceps to help fill that out.

I'm not sure what program I'd like to start, but I'm bouncing between Starting Strength, Krista's Beginner Full-Body Routine, and Sean10mm's Stripped 5x5. I'm looking for something that emphasizes a handful of compound movements that hit pretty much everything. I'm not interested in doing 48 isolation exercises to hit each muscle individually, because the human body works as a system and muscles work together. I want overall strength, definition, and health.

That's the plan! I'd also love to return to yoga, but my gym has seriously cut back on the number of yoga classes it has and my schedule has only gotten more restricted.

Alright! I've got the tools to do well, because I've been using them for over half a year. I've got the desire, because I absolutely want to cross this off my list and be able to say, "Look what I did!" And I've got a plan to keep all these good things I've been doing going. Well, an idea of a plan. I'll pick a routine by the time I hit my goal. Now all that's left is to make this happen!

It'll Be Great (Right?)

OH JEEZ SCHOOL STARTS TOMORROW. OH MAN. OH GOSH.

So I'm a little nervous. I've got three classes starting tomorrow, all subjects I've taken, gotten discouraged, and then just stopped doing any of the work. That old perfectionism thing I've talked about before. I really think I can handle the work load, handle the tests, and that if I find myself struggling, I'm in a position of being able to cut back on hours, ask for help from my family, or do something to help straighten things out. I can wipe these unpleasant grades off my GPA, even if the originals still linger on my transcript for any really interested parties who want to see it. My concern is that I'll get overwhelmed and give up, which I can see my parents are worried about too. They've seen it happened, and it upsets them as much as me.

I don't want to let anyone down. I want to be able to go into a 101-level class with an interesting subject and just knock it out of the park, like I should have been able to do the first time.

I have a hard time remembering that college classes are about more than intelligence. It was confusing to be (hold on to your hats, I'm about to be super conceited) smarter than many of my peers but see them do better than me in these courses, but I'm starting to get it. I wasn't mature enough to manage my own time. I wasn't secure enough in my vision of myself to allow myself to turn in work that wasn't my best and still think I was an okay person. I wasn't willing to admit my weakness to professors or fellow students and ask for help. I had a lot of things going for me, but I had a lot holding me back. I was just as disadvantaged as someone who came in who didn't have a great family environment that nurtured curiosity or who didn't graduate from fantastic schools with invested, interesting teachers.

I've grown since then. I'm not the person I used to be. In fact, I don't like the person I used to be very much, but I'm trying to be gentle, because I just wasn't as far along as I needed to be to get important things accomplished. I'm better than I was, more responsible and more motivated to do what needs to be done. I have accomplished a lot of things in a short amount of time, and it's not going to stop. I'm going to keep kicking butt. I'm going to be successful.

Even if that means I sometimes have to turn in "C" quality work because I overextended myself or didn't prepare, having the courage to be less than perfect is so much better than being inflexible and failing. I can look back to, among other things, my struggles with weight and see that, yes there were days that I ate over 2000 calories, and yes there were entire months I didn't exercise, but I've (very nearly) accomplished my goal because I was willing to do the mundane, unglamorous little work consistently, and because I was able to come back and try again over and over after setbacks and slowdowns.

I now have a model of personal success upon which to reflect when I'm having trouble finding the motivation to attack my school work, and I think that will help carry me through. Here's hoping, anyway. ^_^

Weigh-In Week #29

Another late weigh-in, another mildly disappointing number. I'm down, but not down a ton. I guess when you've lost 60 pounds in about a year, gotten engaged, have a job, and are going back to school, STUFF SLOWS DOWN. I'd love to be lower than 3.2 pounds down in three weeks, but I know any loss is good.

Now I'm just looking forward to the finish line for my original goal. I have five and a half pounds to lose in five and a half weeks. Is that perfect or what? It's realistic but kind of suspenseful. I'm so excited and nervous. I never set big official goals, certainly not publically, and maybe that's why I rarely achieve so much. Wish me luck!

Wedding Progress Report

We have a lot to do in preparing for our wedding, but there have been a lot of good things we've gotten accomplished so far. Here's a wrap-up:

An orange and grey inspiration board

• We've picked our color scheme (orange and grey)
• We've picked a date (February 25th, 2012)
• We've chosen and put down a deposit on our ceremony location
• We've chosen and put down a deposit for our reception location
• We've both taken FOCCUS, the pre-marriage inventory for those wishing to marry in the Catholic Church
• We've found who we really want to be our photographer and are very close to meeting with her and signing a contract
• I bought my wedding dress!
• We've found a DJ we think we like, but we're not 100% sure if we'll ultimately go with him
• We have a vague idea on our invitations and wedding website, but we've got somebody capable handling them, which is kind of the most important thing
• We know from whom we'll be ordering our wedding cake

I feel like there are more things we've done, but I can't think of them all. We've got a ways to go, but it feels great to look back and see everything we've accomplished in such a short time.

Asking For Help - Apparently, It Works!

Today I mentioned to my boss that I was looking for more hours and I picked up one shift this week, an extra hour on one of my already scheduled shifts, a promise to be trained on the host stand tomorrow, and a shift next week hosting!

Apparently, it's pretty common for servers at our restaurant to snub hosting shifts because you only make minimum wage, but an extra shift here and there is an extra shift, and I'd rather work three serving shifts and one hosting each week than having to hunt for another job to either compliment or replace this one. I like this job. I finally know the people and the procedures, and I'm getting better at it.

Work today was pretty average, but overcoming my nervousness and doing this made me feel like I'd done something awesome. It's not about the wimpy $7.31 an hour, it's about being braver, and asking for things I deserve. If the hours hadn't been available, I'd look elsewhere, but I'm glad I didn't let a little case of nerves keep me from doing that.

Wedding Dresses

I found my wedding dress and it's hanging in my bedroom, but I thought I'd share a few pictures of dresses I looked at that didn't make the cut. These are from a consignment store I checked out a few weeks ago, the very day I ended up finding my wonderful dress from Park Avenue Bridal. Half of these were pretty cool and could have been good choices for my dress, but the other two are better left for another bride. Pardon the dressing room mirror shots, I was all alone.

This dress I actually really liked. It's different, and I thought the little sash was a really cool addition I just hadn't seen anywhere else. The bottom (not pictured) wasn't particularly poofy, though, and it felt a bit too sleek and small for what I'd been imagining.

 Man, can you say "thin"? You can see my belly button through this dress, and the seams! I'm not opposed to wearing shapewear for the perfect dress, but the fit and the details just weren't there for me. Ah, well.

Another really cool dress, I couldn't believe how nice the straps looked. I guess their being set really wide on the bodice made it look so different than just a tank top or halter style of shirt. I love the ruched top, too. This was definitely a contender.

Oh man. This isn't me AT ALL. I tried it on to get a feel for something totally out of my comfort zone, said, "Well, that's that," and never looked back.

So what do you think? Do you think I should have gone with any of these? Of course I have a picture of me in the dress I ended up wearing, but I'm not sharing it here where Chris can see it, so you'll just have to wait until February 25th!

Weigh-In Week #26

So last week I weighed in at 157.6 pounds. This week I'm down three pounds to 154.6. Yaaaay! This is very welcome news, and reflects me getting my act together as far as exercise and eating are concerned.

Don't call it a comeback, I've been here for months.

This means I've lost 32 pounds in 26 weeks, or 1.23 pounds a week. Not bad! I've got about 8.5 weeks in which to lose my final 8 pounds to accomplish my goal, and I'm pretty confident I can do it.

How I Ate:

This week, I ate an average of 1348 calories a day, which is a bit higher than my goal calorie count per day, but I really worked on bringing my eating back in line with my goals and eating more fruits and vegetables. It's so much easier to feel full and fueled with 300 calories of lean protein, whole wheat, fruits, and veggies than just carbs, fat, and protein in about that order. I know this, but sometimes it's easy to forget.

How I Moved:

This was a great week in that I FINALLY got back into the gym. I pay for it, I might as well show up, huh? I went twice this weigh-in week, and I burned 1044 calories between the two trips. Granted, this week I only did cardio, but I hope to get back into weights in the next week or so. For now, the emphasis is on showing up, which is fine as I'm just getting back into the groove.

How I Felt:

Good. I've been a bit anxious about money, but with my week of work ahead of me, I should be fine. Probably. ^_^ As for other things, I do feel a tiny bit overwhelmed at the Big Things I have looming on the horizon, from the wedding to returning to school to Chris's upcoming graduation and (hopefully!) move to Orlando. I'm trying not to let it throw me off track from my more daily goals, the money/food/housework stuff, while keeping an eye out for what I can be doing now for the biggies. I know there's a lot to do in preperation for the wedding, I've just been a bit less on the ball for handling it these last two weeks. I should put in some time soon.

As for fitness, well, I'm psyched to be back on track and I'm really proud of being so close to my goal. If all goes well, I should definitely hit my 40 pound mark before the end date.

Free Range Kids

Today I read a really fascinating article from the New York Times, "Can a Playground Be Too Safe?" which really got me thinking about how I hope to raise any kids I eventually have. I know it's pretty common these days to want to make everything children encounter sanitized and safe, but I'm kind of resistant to that because I think kids need to hurt themselves in little ways, need to be exposed to germs in order to develop antibodies, and need to learn to be brave and a little mischievous. This is a pretty easy position to take, having no kids and all. I wonder if, when and if the time comes for me, I'd be able to stick to these ideals.

First of all, it's not something I'm 100% sure of. I had no younger siblings and I only babysit for our neighbors once or twice. What do I know about childhood development, beyond what I experienced as a child? Not much. I do plan to do some extensive reading on the subject before this is ever an issue, including Lenore Skenazy's Free Range Kids, her book about "Giving Our Children the Freedom We Had Without Going Nuts with Worry," according to the cover. I heard an interview with her once on NPR and really dug the message, I also intend to look into the opinions of people who disagree with her and attempt to cobble together some idea of what's right, but I know which way I'm leaning going into things.

What worries me when I think about my (hypothetical future) kids isn't that they'll get scratched while at the park, it's the junk television kids watch these days. It's the commercials for everything toy they ABSOLUTELY NEED right now, and it's the criminally stupid children's programming on Disney and Cartoon Network and Nick. I don't like the attitude of a lot of the kids on kids' TV, and I wouldn't want my kids emulating them. It freaks me out to think of having one of those kids who has a meltdown if he or she doesn't get exactly what he or she wanted for Christmas, and I hope that with some good parenting books and some diligence, I never end up with that.

My goal, I guess, should be to weigh benefits with risks, and not just assume that because something is highly publicized, that it's necessarily common. Consider the amount of news time given to kidnapping by strangers versus the 2009 statistic that only 115 kids in the US were abducted in the "stereotypical," stranger who wants to murder or ransom or keep fashion. Usually when abductions occur, it's by crazy people you already know, not some creeper off the street. Similarly, while it's not the most flashy news story, the number one killer of kids in the US is auto accidents. I think concern is a good thing, but if we're equally terrified of everything, we're going to stunt their growth and make our own lives fraught with unnecessary anxiety.

I can only imagine how hard it is to do less than everything in the world to protect your child, but I think that's why it's important to read things like this and learn what psychologists and others say about raising kids and not just rely on the people who want to market the latest, greatest, "safest" thing to us in the form of commercials, magazine articles, or outrageous product claims.

My Triumphant Return

Yesterday, for the first time in over a month, I went back to the gym! I've been struggling with this weird anxiety about going back to the gym, but I know that I really need to spend some calories to reach my goal of weighing 146 pounds by September 20th. I finally just told myself, "Whitney this isn't going to be the best day at the gym ever in the world, and you're not going to be doing weights or spinning or something crazy like that. The goal is to show up."

And I did! I listened to some comedy I'd put on Dad's MP3 player, drank two bottles of water, and spent about 40 minutes between the treadmill and the stair machine. I burned 466 calories according to my heart rate monitor, and when I left, I felt like a million bucks. Except for my silly outfit, red face and sweaty ponytail hair, but whatever.

Something about working out always seems to make me want to eat healthier, though I've found that simply eating well doesn't make me want to work out. There's something about the concentrated, specific act of exercise, that makes me want to make more great choices while the day long choices involved in eating properly doesn't. Just changing your diet can make me feel smug or deprived, but it doesn't make me feel quite so energized.

Weigh-In #25

Unfortunately, it's really hard to look at old weigh-in posts from my phone (which is how I'm posting this because my laptop is broken), so I don't know exactly how bad this weigh-in really is, but I know isn't great.

I'm working to get back on track. I'm tracking calories again, something I think I mentioned in a previous post. I'm also going back to just refried beans at work, no delicious and caloric chicken tacos, at least no more than once a week.

Meanwhile, I really, really, really need to get to the gym. Really. I'm paying for it, I need to kick my weight loss into high gear thanks to the last few weeks, and it's fun when I go.
I am committed to continuing the great strides I've taken so far, and I'm not going to give up at my first setback, because I know it won't be my last.

Hurdles

This has been a challenging week.

About a week ago, I got my schedule from work and found I'd be working 16 hours total for the next two weeks, something that is going to make money pretty darn tight for a bit here. Then I got pink eye, which I get more than any adult on the planet who isn't a parent or teacher. That made me have to call off one of my days at work, so I'm actually going to be working 13.5 hours these two weeks. Thankfully, Mom and Dad bought me some Similasan drops that really helped a lot. When I woke up today and could see out of both of my eyes, I knew things had turned a corner for the better. I was wrong.

My computer fell on the floor and, though it starts up just fine and makes the happy little Windows noise, there is nothing on my screen. It's black. I am so sad. I'm able to hook it up to the monitor of our desktop, so my data is accessible, I'm just going to have to wait a while before I can have it fixed. In the meantime, I'm going to be organizing and backing up my files onto my Mediafire account just in case the computer gives up the good fight (it had better not), so I don't lose all my pictures, ebooks, etc.

So. Not awesome. It's going to be alright, though. First of all, Dad's numbers were so good that he didn't have to have chemo on Monday, so they put it off for another week. Second, I managed to clean out my room and closet and they both look SPECTACULAR. Seriously, we're not talking about HGTV's Design Star here, but it's functional and clean and I have lots of room to move around and be happy. Third, I'm back on the fitness track. I'm logging my eating, making good choices (mostly!) and just trying to be aware of the impact my decisions have on the bottom line, or my weight. Finally, I'm enrolled in college! I'm going to raise my GPA! My classes are paid for and I can bargain hunt online for books and everything, just everything, is going to be great. It really is.

My Classes

I'm all registered for my three classes this semester. They're all classes I've taken before (and done exceedingly poorly on), so my taking them now will knock their low final grades out of my GPA and replace them with what will surely be a trio of A+++'s. The previous grades will remain on my transcript, but a consistent record of good grades past a certain point should be better than these same good and bad grades scattered throughout my academic record, you know? It will suggest I've turned a corner, and I have.

I'm really lucky to have the Florida PrePaid credits my parents paid for for me when I was a kid available for me now. I still have to pay fees (about $30 per class) and for my books, but having these really puts getting an AA in the next year or so within reach for me instead of only being able to afford one class per semester.

I've built a pretty good schedule where I go to school from 9:30 to 2:15 Mondays and Wednesdays, so that only makes me unable to do two shifts a week at work, so I should have the same volume of hours available to me once school begins. Three classes was the maximum suggested for students who work around 20 hours, and most weeks at the restaurant haven't even approached that amount of work lately.