Free Range Kids

Today I read a really fascinating article from the New York Times, "Can a Playground Be Too Safe?" which really got me thinking about how I hope to raise any kids I eventually have. I know it's pretty common these days to want to make everything children encounter sanitized and safe, but I'm kind of resistant to that because I think kids need to hurt themselves in little ways, need to be exposed to germs in order to develop antibodies, and need to learn to be brave and a little mischievous. This is a pretty easy position to take, having no kids and all. I wonder if, when and if the time comes for me, I'd be able to stick to these ideals.

First of all, it's not something I'm 100% sure of. I had no younger siblings and I only babysit for our neighbors once or twice. What do I know about childhood development, beyond what I experienced as a child? Not much. I do plan to do some extensive reading on the subject before this is ever an issue, including Lenore Skenazy's Free Range Kids, her book about "Giving Our Children the Freedom We Had Without Going Nuts with Worry," according to the cover. I heard an interview with her once on NPR and really dug the message, I also intend to look into the opinions of people who disagree with her and attempt to cobble together some idea of what's right, but I know which way I'm leaning going into things.

What worries me when I think about my (hypothetical future) kids isn't that they'll get scratched while at the park, it's the junk television kids watch these days. It's the commercials for everything toy they ABSOLUTELY NEED right now, and it's the criminally stupid children's programming on Disney and Cartoon Network and Nick. I don't like the attitude of a lot of the kids on kids' TV, and I wouldn't want my kids emulating them. It freaks me out to think of having one of those kids who has a meltdown if he or she doesn't get exactly what he or she wanted for Christmas, and I hope that with some good parenting books and some diligence, I never end up with that.

My goal, I guess, should be to weigh benefits with risks, and not just assume that because something is highly publicized, that it's necessarily common. Consider the amount of news time given to kidnapping by strangers versus the 2009 statistic that only 115 kids in the US were abducted in the "stereotypical," stranger who wants to murder or ransom or keep fashion. Usually when abductions occur, it's by crazy people you already know, not some creeper off the street. Similarly, while it's not the most flashy news story, the number one killer of kids in the US is auto accidents. I think concern is a good thing, but if we're equally terrified of everything, we're going to stunt their growth and make our own lives fraught with unnecessary anxiety.

I can only imagine how hard it is to do less than everything in the world to protect your child, but I think that's why it's important to read things like this and learn what psychologists and others say about raising kids and not just rely on the people who want to market the latest, greatest, "safest" thing to us in the form of commercials, magazine articles, or outrageous product claims.